The history of western movies.
Phase 1: The "Wild West" era of the "Wild West" (1902 - 1940)
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Story:
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Everything is beautiful. Evil things happen. The Hero rides as fast as a lightning from anywhere to save the day. He succeeds.
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Action:
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The hero rides as fast as a lightning.
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Typicial camera angle:
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The camera follows the hero riding fast as ligthning.
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Stunt:
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None.
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Death:
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If the actor hears "Bang", he falls down.
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Weapon used:
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The Colt
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Plus:
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Normally, it's a short movie.
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Minus:
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If you know one, you know all
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Phase 2: The Golden Age (1941 - 1968)
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Story:
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Everything is beautiful. Bad guys wanna change that. The hero stands alone. He fights. He succeeds
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Action:
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The showdown is invented. 3 bad guys against the hero.
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Typicial camera angle:
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The town is empty. Only the hero and the bad boys on Main Street hanging around.
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Stunt:
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Bad boy falling.
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Death:
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If the actor hears "Bang", he falls down and shouts "Aaargh!"
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Weapon used:
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The Colt
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Plus:
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One of these movies: "High Noon" was really good.
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Minus:
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If you know one, you know all
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Phase 3: The Mafia Age (1968 - 1979)
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Story:
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Everything is bad. The hero doesn't care. bad guys wanna make it worse. The hero has to fight, though he doesn't care. He succeeds. Somehow - who cares?
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Action:
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The showdown's climax. 500 bad guys against the hero.
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Typicial camera angle:
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The hero's eyes. Or only one of them.
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Stunt:
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If the actor hears "Bang" he is replaced by a stuntman, who falls down a large building.
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Death:
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The ketchup-bag on his chest explodes. He turns around twice, falls down and slowly stops moving.
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Weapon used:
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Gatling, dynamite.
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Plus:
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Clint Eastwood's ponchos are cool.
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Minus:
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Morricone's music sucks.
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Phase 4: The Vault (1980 - 1990)
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Story:
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No one understands the story. Someone is good, someone is bad. Somehow.
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Action:
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Many showdons at many locations.
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Typicial camera angle:
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None. Important: No take is longer than 5 seconds.
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Stunt:
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If the actor hears "Bang" he is replaced by a stuntman. This poor guy flies 10 meters through the air.
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Death:
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The ketchup-bag on his chest, forehead, back, ass, legs and arms explode. He turns around thrice, falls down, shouts "Aaargh!" and slowly stops moving.
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Weapon used:
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Knife, Colt, Gatling, Dynamite.
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Plus:
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Almost no movies were made in this decade.
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Minus:
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But some were made.
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Phase 5: The black hole (1990 - 2000)
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Story:
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None
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Action:
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None
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Typicial camera angle:
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None
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Stunt:
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The writer flies through the window of the producer
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Death:
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The storybook burns.
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Weapon used:
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Excel, Access
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Plus:
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No movies were made in this decade.
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Minus:
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Old movies were shown in TV over and over.
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Phase 6: The Revival (2000 - )
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Story:
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Everything is beautiful. Evil things happen. The Hero rides as fast as a lightning from anywhere to save the day. He succeeds.
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Action:
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3 bad guys against the hero.
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Typicial camera angle:
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None
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Stunt:
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If the actor hears "Bang" he is replaced by a stuntman, who falls down a large building.
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Death:
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The ketchup-bag on his chest, forehead, back, ass, legs and arms explode. He turns around four times, falls down, shouts "Aaargh! Fuck!" and very slowly stops moving.
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Weapon used:
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Excel, Access, SAP
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Plus:
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Only one movie done so far.
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Minus:
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If you know one, you know all.
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